Valentine’s Day FAIL: Romantic Mishaps from Traveler Reviews Worldwide

With Valentine’s Day upon us, countless couples will check in to hotels near and far in hopeful anticipation of a relaxing, romantic weekend. But while the holiday may evoke visions of flowers, pink décor and suitors bearing chocolate for some, singles have long scoffed at the occasion, marking it with dark clothing and the saddest of songs. Lonely hearts, this one’s for you.

In honor of the arrow-toting angel’s mischievous ways, I dug in to TrustYou’s hotel review database in search of romantic misadventures. Turns out, hotel reviews hath no fury like a romance-seeker scorned. Read on for fourteen comical tales of mood-killing misfortunes and cupid-friendly hotel stays gone awry.

  1. Victoria’s Secret Service: This couple was upgraded to a suite at check-in, but the politician in the room next door left them with two steely-eyed secret service agents stationed outside of the suite day and night. “When I opened the door to leave, a female secret service agent who was standing in the doorway got right in our face, and sternly told us to get back in the room, shut the door, and she would knock to let us know when we could come out.”
  2. Not-So Hot Tub: There’s nothing like an in-room hot tub, right? Wrong. “When the jets were turned on it caused a horrible sewage smell … and then black sludge started coming up through the standing shower drain.”
  3. Three’s Company: This couple was hoping for privacy to celebrate their 22nd wedding anniversary. “We were starting our evening when we heard something outside the door … a creepy old man leaning against the door listening! We called down to the front desk and they said they would contact security ASAP. But then we heard the 2-way radio directly outside the door … this WAS the security!”
  4. Everybody Loves Chocolate: Sounds like this pair’s valet wasn’t too happy to be working on Valentine’s Day: “When I got into my car I realized whoever had parked it the night before had sat in the car and smoked a cigarette. And to top it off, the guy rifled through my glove box, found a half-box of chocolates, ate them, and then left the empty box on the floor.”
  5. Surf’s Up … and Down: Wave-riding for two seemed like just the thing for these romantic-adventure seekers: “We went on a surfing lesson, and my girlfriend fell of and got hit by her board! I ran 5 blocks to my car, picked her up, and drove to the emergency room … where we spent our evening getting stitches.”
  6. Fireworks Fizzle: Every couple hopes for fireworks, but this couple planned a romantic weekend around the kind that go “pop!”: “We stayed for the 4th of July and requested a room on the highest floor possible to view the fireworks. When we looked out the window, we could only see caked-on dirt from months of rain and weather.”
  7. Punk’d: Their room left something to be desired: “The carpet was filthy, with some mystery streak about eight feet across the floor, like something was spilled, stained, and never attempted to be cleaned up. The room smelled horrible, and the furniture looked like someone raided a Salvation Army like 200 years ago. It was so bad that I expected Ashton Kutcher to jump through the window with, “YOU GOT PUNK’D, DOGG!!!”
  8. Little Blessings Everywhere: Children may be life’s little blessings – just not during this couple’s would-be romantic meal: “The complimentary dinner was a surprise, but then again, so was the horrid scene that played out in the dining room. No less than 20 kids all running around the place, jumping off of chairs, yelling and wrestling each other to the floor. The dining room looked like a summer camp for kids with no parents!”
  9. Sorry, Grandma: “The decor of the bedroom was very outdated, with horrible-looking old-fashioned lamps on the nightstands. The pictures on the wall looked as if they came from a garage sale. It felt as if I was sleeping in a room at my grandmother’s house.”
  10.  Too Close for Comfort: If there’s one thing romance-seeking hotel guests seem to universally crave, it’s a king-sized bed: “I never, ever guessed that I’d get stuck with one double bed. What an awful choice for what was supposed to be a romantic night away, the first since we had a baby more than a year ago. The double bed was tiny, an anti-romance and anti-sleep buzz kill.”
  11.  Overheard: Couples often crave privacy, but “Do Not Disturb” signs are powerless against paper-thin hotel room walls: “I could tell you scene by scene the drama that my neighbors were ensconced in. First the fight … then later in the evening when we returned from our night we could hear their nighttime activities, and I guess I am happy they made up!”
  12. Rise and Shine: “After a three-hour flight delay, my boyfriend ordered a bottle of champagne to be delivered to the room upon arrival. But since we got there after midnight, no champagne was delivered. The next morning at 9am, room service finally attempted to deliver us a bottle of champagne. Really, thanks, but no!”
  13. Romantic Getaway?: This couple found the ambience in their hotel’s lobby lacking: “Is it intimate and romantic? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Think shopping mall on steroids or indoor Disney. Hundreds of people all shuffling along with you and doing all the things they do in a mall to drive you up a wall, except with the added feature of carrying and pulling luggage.”
  14. Moon River: And finally, one for the singles out there. Arriving late, this solo traveler called maintenance to fix a broken bathroom light, ordered a salad from room service … and then stumbled into the romantic Twilight Zone: “My salad and the maintenance guy arrived at the same time. I sat there eating in the almost dark, while he hummed one phrase from Moon River out of tune, OVER and OVER again. With the one lone light bulb on in the room, the light from the corridor bleeding in, and the humming, it felt as if I’d fallen into a comedy skit of a romantic evening gone badly wrong.”


Happy Valentine’s Day!